Mature Fashion: Holiday Shopping

Seasons Greetings, Fashionistas and Stylinistas;

No way was I going out on Black Friday, Small Business Saturday, or Pre-Cyber Sunday!  I truly hope that today, Cyber Monday will be prophetic and the buyers will all be in front of their computers making their purchases.  I am going to take the gamble, collect my grand-daughter and great-grandson and purchase his first major holiday toys from his maternal great grandmother. He will be two just in time for the nice weather.  Hopefully, he will like the tricycle and GENTLY motorized  'car'., ( IF I can find one that I believe to be safe enough.)  Of course, he will get clothes, and other items to unwrap.

It is now officially winter here in the Bay Area.  We have had frost on the ground almost all week .  It is time for the warm clothing; gloves, cashmere scarves and sweaters, coats, blazers, jackets and warm shoes. I chose to wear red corduroy wide weld trousers, black silk undershirt, red cashmere funnel neck sweater, red, hunter green, and gold/black stripe and plaid blazer when my friend and I unplugged this Saturday to drive over to the beach and have lunch. I accessorized with red cashmere scarf, brocade red/gold clogs, a golden brown Brahman handbag, black quilted leather gloves, hunter green velvet fur trimmed cap, and a heavy gold rope chain with gold cameo pendant and small thick gold hoop earrings.

The weather was crisp and cold, but sunny.  It was a beautiful and stress free day, although we did have quite a bit of traffic on both the roads and on the restaurant wait list. (Phils @ Moss Landing; if you haven't tried it, please do.  You will not regret it.).

In this holiday season, one of the largest obstacles to overcome is stress and frustration.  It is more important than ever that we coddle both our mind and body while getting as much relaxation and rest as necessary.  We all know that things will go better if we can make time to have a quiet cup of tea, listen to relaxing music, unplug as much as possible.  Although we all know these things, we usually have to work to make it happen in this oh so very busy time of year.  Check "Rockmyfitness.blogspot.com" for more stress relieving tips"

Don't forget, we also will feel our best if we know we look our best in this very social season.

Happy Styling.......Geneva .....Rockmyages@aol.com..............................

Mature Fashion: Holiday Hurdle #2

Good Evening, Fashionistas and Stylinistas;

Well, hopefully we all survived our second sugar, fats, and over-indulgence hurdle of the holiday season (Most people I know still enjoy a lot of candy and holiday parties between Halloween and Thanksgiving).  The problem is there are a few more to go; most of us have at least a few Christmas parties, dinners, open house (s), or more to attend before we all

make those New Year's resolutions to lose the weight gained over this season, and/or to take better care of our health.

Before I post some tips to help us survive the season joyfully, I want to thank all of you (you know who you are) for the e-mails, phone calls, texts, etc. (I also know some of you are following me privately).  I really do believe that most mature women have experienced some form of adversity within their span of years; I don't believe all women survive intact, I also believe many can still be broken (divorce, death of a loved one, arduous care giving, etc.)  That is why I believe in the importance of building and retaining self confidence and its ability to generate positive actions, rather than just give up. In addition to the wonderful women in my life, those mentioned and those unmentioned who have retained their courage in spite of  life's obstacles, I also know a few who feel terror for the years yet to come and doubt their ability to cope. 

I, for one, never want to go down that path. I whole-heartily believe in the expressions, " If you look good, you feel good", and "you have to feel good enough to want to look good". The first is a question of personal attention to how you look, and the second, for most people,  is physical attention to your body by diet, exercise, body care, relaxation, and sleep. In any event, attention to these areas far better prepare you for upcoming challenges.

You might want to check out "Rockmyfitness.blogspot.com" for a few tips that might help in keeping ourselves feeling well and looking good over this stressful period. Hopefully, writing all this down will keep me on track for the season.

Keep on Styling..........Geneva  rockmyages@aol.com

Mature Fashion: Friends who "Rock Age"

Hello Stylinistas;

This entry is a "just sayin', just thinkin' reflective post. During this time of thanksgiving which also marks the beginning of the most stressful time of the year, I realize how fortunate I am to know so many individuals who exemplify the qualities of a mature woman who "Rocks Age."  I am fortunate to have friends who are young women, newly "mature" women, and women in the 50, 60, and 70 years of age ranges.  So many of them are vibrant women who represent the values I express in the blogs.

During the commencement of this holiday season, almost every mature woman who I know faces additional challenges.  At a certain age, most of us have some form of medical problem that requires special attention to diets and exercise. It is a season of missing loved ones, either through death, divorce, or other unforeseen personal tragedies. It is also the time when most of us can become the most discouraged and lose the desire to maintain their energy, physical fitness, or sense of confidence.  I wish to dedicate this post to all woman who have suffered adversity and hardship but has not lost the will to keep up the good fight and "Rock Age". 

One of my long time friends, also in her seventies is a widow of over ten years whose husband died as a result of a lingering, expensive, and mentally draining bone cancer.  She was left with major financial difficulties as well as the painful death of her spouse of 30+ years.  She also suffered the loss of her only brother from the same cancer as her husband, and during the same time period!!.  She had to handle the death of her mother soon thereafter.  These difficulties would have crushed many a person; Not this woman; she struggled to pay off the large expenses incurred with the illness, assessed her employment capabilities, and began cottage employment babysitting and boarding animals. After several years of slowly building her clientele, she now has a selective and thriving home business. Additionally, she is an active and involved grandmother who supervises many of her grandchild's educational activities; all this while keeping up with all the chores of an acre+ home site.  She still wears her earrings every day, has an enviable silver and turquoise collection, and wears her hair in her signature neatly pulled back "up do", ready to meet any challenge of her day.  

Another friend of 15 years or so who overcome adversity. She is not quite as old as I am, but she is certainly well into middle age.  She is also a widow who recovered after enduring devastating financial circumstances with the loss of her husband's job, a very real possibility of financial ruin,  and finally, loss of her husband's life.  During this time when she had two kids about to enter college, only a part time job, a major house payment, and the economy in the pits, she "threw the dice" and opened her own retail business  vying against chain store competition.  Her admirable children, (while attending college full time) helped her run the shop when my friend continued working at her other job as well as the shop.  By the way, she is also of the 'sandwich' generation; she also had full care of a dependent mother suffering the effects of an even older age. During all this stress, she still managed to keep her hair tinted, her make-up applied, and her courage high.  Today the shop is doing a good business, her children have completed school and are active in building their own careers, She looks wonderful. Lately, she has tossed her hat in the ring for a position in local politics. I would say she is certainly Rocking Her Age!

I have another lovely lady who has taken excellent care of  herself all of her life.  I have known her and her husband over twenty years.  During that time she has faithfully watched her diet, performed all recommended physical suggestions for health and physical welfare, interacted successfully with family and friends.  Yet with all this dedication to a healthy life, during most of this time she unfortunately had Multiple Sclerosis, a devastating degenerative disease. Over the years, although she has vigorously fought the disease, it has finally reached the stage where she almost needs assistance to have any mobility.  She still performs more exercise than most women I know, (has her own special exercise bike), still helps her wonderful and dedicated husband with housework, shopping, and chores, maintains her personal appearance better than most of my acquaintance, and curates her closet with the best of us. She mourns her (to her) lost figure and the ability to find flattering garments that she can wear that are stylish and comfortable.  By the way, she, too, is in the Sandwich category by having an aged mother (over 100 years old!) who lives two hours or more away who she regularly visits, cooks for, and offers filial support.  

She is a role model for any disabled person anywhere.  I dedicate to her my intention to search out tips and ways and means for all disabled women who wish to Rock their age. She is my shining example of a really courageous disabled woman who does rocks her age in spite of everything. 

Yet another example.  When her marriage failed, my friend who had a high tech professional job was left with providing sole support to a toddler daughter and a sister who had a major illness. She was able to work from home until that job was no longer available (dot.com crash, etc.)  With temporary, part-time, and two jobs at a time, she was able to support her sister while she recovered and finished her college education.  She also put her daughter through school until she graduated from college. She bought a "fixer upper" home about twenty years ago

She still works two jobs, one in public education, and the other for a private firm helping them with their business commitments. She also has schooled herself to do almost any form of minor carpentry (building decks, installing closets, installation of molding), and professional level paint and landscape jobs at her home.  All this activity, yet making sure her sunscreen is on every day. She takes care of her body, her toe nails are painted, and she walks and exercises every day. Shopping for clothing is one of her major hobbies; shopping, mind you, not necessarily buying.  She is a particularly conscientious buyer.  I have learned much from her about thrift store shopping and to ascertain a garment meets high standards before purchasing.  She has also rigorously drilled me in the importance of returning a garment immediately if it is not what I expected.  She manages her home, finances, and person well.  She rocks her age.

Although I have several others who deserve some recognition, ones who have retired and volunteer with community service, actively participate in their children's lives, etc., and experience life's obstacles, these are the most significant examples of close friends of mine who have suffered unexpected major adversity(ies). They have picked themselves up and made the world work for, and with them in spite of it. They remain strong women, have the ability to cope, take care of themselves, look wonderful, and rock their age.

I salute you and all known and unknown women who rock their age.   Have a Happy Thanksgiving..............Geneva........Rockmyages@aol.com

Mature Fashion: Getting Ready for...

Hello Fashionistas and Stylinistas;

Fall/winter is definitely here (These morning are cold!!) and our Thanksgiving week is predicted to be chilly.  

It is also the time all the wonderful foods of Thanksgiving and the Christmas season are in abundance; unfortunately, many of those foods, or I should say, too much of those foods are available for temptation. All too often we over indulge.   It is said that most people gain an average of five pounds every year, mostly between the middle of October and the first of the new year. Many of us make a resolution to lose weight, however, it is also widely stated in medical articles, etc., that the majority of the weight remains, perhaps forever.

I have learned (at least so far) to "trick" my weight gain by making the resolution the week of Halloween; I actually start my diet management program BEFORE the season. I still have my piece of pie (but am comre conscious of the size), a piece of home made, fudge, a (one) home made cookie, etc., but I do not allow myself to say "I'll diet later".  I found this works so well for me because, being a type II diabetic, I know I have to watch my sugar and fat intake very carefully, especially when there is so much temptation.  It also helps to remember this is the time of year when many heart attacks and strokes occur.

I also am more rigorous during this time of year to make sure I get enough exercise.  It also helps with the stressful time of year to keep blood sugar levels under control.  High blood sugar levels is believed to cause a rise in irritation and other unpleasant side effects. Let's all try and moderate our intake of "goodies".  We are sure to be healthier and happier.

I have new posts on "Rockmyrole.blogspot.com", (delving into more body types and design elements which help us "lose weight" visually"), "Rockmyrunwaay.blogspot.com " (examples of Monochromatic dressing), and "Rockmyfitness.blogspot.com", where we offer tips for getting the necessary sleep. (yes, I have already had feedback about the picture!)

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving...whether you are sharing with family, friends, or even giving yourself a holiday indulgence............Geneva ........Rockmyages@aol.com

Mature Fashion: "Following" blogs and Holiday Attire Release

An example of the use of inside Lines

Good Evening Fashionistas and Stylinistas;

I had lunch with a good friend today who has been trying to "follow" my blogsite; anyway, according to her when she attempts to follow, she is requested to divulge personal information she wishes to be private.  I ran into some of the same problems with my Lord Perry blog a few years ago.  The request for that information does not come from me, and I would not want anyone to feel obligated to provide any information whatsoever.  Feel free to contact me at this e-mail address should you wish contact:  Rockmyages@aol.com.  I will reply as soon as is possible.  I am sorry for any inconvenience this may have caused.  I have no preference whatsoever as to getting a comment posted to the blog or by e-mail. What I do want is to share experience with those who wish to contribute, have a question, or have a suggestion.

I also received a valuable piece of feedback about the Rock My Runway blog:  It seems to be a bit unclear what I am demonstrating with those stylings; I will try to clear it up a bit. My prime objective is to demonstrate that a stylist can easily modernize her fashion choices just using items in her own closet; she just has to re-imagine how she has worn the garments in the past.  One of the more dated looks that mature women often choose is to wear the same garments in the same way she did several seasons (or years) ago. If she has not updated her cosmetic and hair styling, she is even more certain to look out of fashion, and usually adds years to her appearance. More serious than that impression,  she also appears "set in her ways"..old, mentally inflexible.

The objective that does not appear to be so clear in the stylings is my intention to demonstrate that no matter what your personal fashion aesthetic (creative, classic, sporty, romantic, preppy, etc.) you can create almost any desired aesthetic.  My aesthetic is mostly a "creative classic;"always with a touch of elegance.   If you recall, I had not styled combinations for Lolita, Boho, and Bedford Granny because I preferred to wear elements of the other three.  I did create collections for almost all of the fashion trends of this fall.  I WOULD wear any of them but I probably will not wear all of them very much.  My  personal fashion style and preferences will favor the ones I feel most "alive" within.  I will, however, wear some of the unexpected to add variety to my look.  These minor additions to my look , pared down and conservative will actually generate a "youthful" appearance.  I will, however, remain mostly in my own style statements; after all, that is who I am.  A benefit of this blog is when writing for you, I am stretching my own fashion style; it helps me "Rock My Age." We will be discussing much more on fashion aesthetic as we go along.

As mentioned earlier, we will go into greater depth on fashion aesthetic later; I feel it is more important for us to discuss what design elements and body types we are dealing with before we choose the mood of our style statements.  You already know if you "love" a garment.

Just like our different body shapes, our  fashion aesthetic can (and to some degree will) change over time as we mature.  The failure of a woman to notice her body type and fashion aesthetic has changed over the decades is another of those "aging"  impressions. 

At any rate, I will release my holiday combinations on "Rockmyrunwaay.blogspot.com" tomorrow.  This will be a good demonstration of using the same old garments I have had year after year  Aside from the classic considerations, I will take more care in demonstrating where I am venturing into "trendy fashion" and out of my own fashion aesthetic.  In other words, the combinations I will love to wear, and the ones I would wear...

I would love to see how your are styling yourself for this holiday season.  I actually bought a hair piece or two today to use in styling my look this year.

...Happy Styling..............Geneva....Rockmyages@aol.com

Mature Fashion: "Rules", Closet Nazis

Hello Fashionistas and Stylinistas:

ARGHHHH!!  I was just reading an article regarding thinning out one's closet; arbitrary statement from stylist:  "My goal is to reduce a client's closet by at least two-thirds.."...WHO comes up with these "rules"?  Just the words alone imply a "one size fits all" approach to styling for an individual; key word here: INDIVIDUAL; there is no one solution for all.

For young women just beginning a collection of quality clothing, or the woman of limited means who has a drastic change in circumstances where she has to completely re-build her wardrobe might benefit from some of the Spartan rules.  I would submit there are better solutions that would keep a little "fun" in the clothes one wears.  All of these rules also fail to take into account the "Carrie Bradshaw's" of the world.

I believe that most people who have too many clothes want to have a variety of items to wear.  Many of the solutions I encounter in the media about effective styling entail solutions as extreme as "French" women claiming they need only a black cashmere sweater, a good pair of black tailored pants, a black blazer, a little black dress, a white button down classic shirt, a good pair of jeans, a good pair of black heels, a pair of black flats, and a trench coat to be well dressed at all times. Oh; I forgot the Hermes scarf and a good watch.  If the stylist allows more than this, it is an addition of a black skirt, maybe a patterned skirt with some color, and the addition of another sweater or shirt in the color that is in the patterned skirt. Some,  of course,  allow more than this.  Any woman with any sense of fun in wearing clothing, or "effortless dressing" is going to have a challenge to make the above wardrobe work for all of her life roles without a very dreary closet.  Any woman over 40 is almost certain to look "dated," to use the current vernacular.  

Very few, if any, women I have ever met in my entire life want their choices to be this limited; certainly not a fashionista.  Any woman who has any pretension of  looking modern, youthful, energetic, etc., would not want the above to be the only contents of her closet, and is certainly not "rocking her age".  Although it is true that many, in fact most, women have more clothes than they "need", the major problem is failure to eliminate certain clothes that no longer suit their "roles", or in fact, suit them in any role (too small, too big, too dated, in poor condition, etc.). All of those garments need to be addressed (see post "Mature Fashion:Inventory Time, dated Sept 15th) by disposal, alteration, donation, replacement, etc. Reducing clutter in a closet does not require a woman to reduce garments, it means having the correct garments for her individual  lifestyle and a wardrobe of garments she loves to wear. 

Each fashionista and stylinista needs to determine what the future is of each garment in her closet, why she has it, what she plans for it, how many of "it" she ;wants as well as "needs", and has space for; there should be no arbitrary number, percentage, or any other "one size fits all" pronouncement.  Roles are too different, preferences are too different, and attitude toward the wardrobes are much too different.  Some of us want "uniforms", some of us want infinite variety; some want a sense of adventure.  Styling a closet should be for the sole benefit of, and meet the desires of the "producer" , not the "director" of the play. 

Check out "Rockmyrole.blogspot.com" for tips on taking advantage of a triangle body type

......Happy Styling ....................Geneva

Mature Fashion: Holiday Magic

2014 Hair Color (added braid)

Hello there, Fashionistas and Stylinistas;

No matter which you are, a fashionista or a stylinista,  the season is in full gear; It is the time for family gatherings and all the love (and tension) that accompanies this time of year.  It is also the time for company holiday parties and other "dress up" activities.  It is also the only time of year that some women have their hair professionally styled or really pay attention to looking glamorous; almost all women at least get a hair cut.

It may be time to make a few New Years resolutions to allow more time for the maintenance of you.  (I know, I know, we all resolve to lose a pound or two..or five!)  It is also the time for more frivolous manicures, pedicures, etc.  For those of you who regularly attend to those grooming details, you may want to assess your current styles.  It is a bit of a generalization, but it is unlikely the same hairstyle you wore ten years ago is the most flattering today.

All of the above make it exactly the right time of year to evaluate your hairstyle and your beauty procedures.  Is the style exactly right for you? Is the color the most flattering, or do you need to consider a change?  I made a significant color change to my hair this past year.  After several years of covering grey hair with dyes, I reversed the entire process and use only bleach to "make it all white".  I must say I love it; it is great that the hair tends and styles (ombre and such) actually encourage the still dark roots.(Note: while in "draft", I received a post from the "Style Crone" who also changed to white hair this year-check her site for a lovely example)

I discovered a marvelous web-site with great haircuts specifically targeted to our age group, shown on models in our age group, and for all types of faces shapes, hair texture, and hair lengths.  It is called "therighthairstyles.com" .  I'm sure you will find the site informative. A great hair cut and style is one of the most important tools you can have to "Rock My Age".

It is also the time of year for review of the closet to plan what holiday 'costumes' you will need for the upcoming events.  One garment I highly recommend if you do not already have one; consider a Palazzo pant in a quality black satin; ones that could be considered as lingerie.  As you will see in my forthcoming post to "rockmyrunwaay.blogspot.com", the boudoir/lingerie look is predicted to be a trend of the forthcoming spring 2016 fashion "looks".  The satin pants could also extend your spring/summer wardrobe, should you choose. (Before you say 'no way', look at how some of it can be worn for daytime, and to the office)..............Happy Styling...................Geneva...........

Mature Fashion: Launching "Rock My Fitness"

Hello Fashionistas and Stylinistas;

How can you look good if you don't feel enough energy to try?  I mentioned several times in the various posts that if you look good, you usually feel good; a true statement.  However, many older persons, especially women, are too depressed, tired, or lack the energy to even try to look good. This is especially true for a woman with a degenerative disease.  I'm sure you all know or have known someone like this.

I mentioned in my first post Rock My Ages is dedicated to mature and disabled women who want to look and feel good in spite of the challenges that aging (or in some cases just living) bring.  In 'Rock My Role, we are talking about the roles each of us have in our personal lifestyle and about how to present ourselves to the greatest advantage.  In 'Rock My Runway, we are re-thinking our own closets to update our fashion looks and feel more "with it";  now, we are dedicating a new blog "Rock My Fitness" to help each other in ways to maintain our vibrancy and be able to "Rock" our aging and/or degenerating health.

I am not a health expert, but I do have health problems and am conscious of the necessity to do what I can to help myself.  I would like you to share your tips with me, and I certainly will share with you in information I have found to be helpful.  You may reach the  fitness blog at "Rockmyfitness.blogspot.com".

We cannot be an effective Fashionista nor Stylinista is we are to occupied with pain and suffering; both are counter-productive to "rocking our age"............Geneva..............

Mature Fashion: "Flattering" Gets You Everywhere

Hello Stylinistas;

Okay, a play on words:  Lately, I have been spending a lot of time in many conversations regarding the emphasis on beauty and fashion; the substance of which is why it shouldn't be so important how someone looks, or how people shouldn't make judgement on how one is dressed, or whether they use cosmetics, etc., etc., .....well, all of that may (or may not) be true, however it is...and they do..! 

This blog is for people who acknowledge they feel better when they know they look good; when one know they look good, they have more energy and confidence to deal with the pressures of their given lifestyle.

It is not to convince anyone, it is about sharing information and ideas; it is about "rocking" the aging process we all will go through. It is about confidence that no matter your age, your disability, no matter how much of a decline from what "we used to be", we can still look wonderful; we just have to re-think, re-interpret, and adjust our fashion, our cosmetics, and activities to make the best of what we have. In order to do all this, we may have to do a bit of self examination to see and accept ourselves as we really are today; not what we used to be.

I have known many people who are 40+ who still refer to a body shape they once had but is no longer true.  Unfortunately, some of them still wear the same types and styles they wore with their previous shape. It may be necessary to truly analyze the body shape you now have and act accordingly.  Many people truly do not know what their body type is, or the style details that best show their assets. They may still identify with what looks good on someone else, or what used to look good on them.

What does "flatter" mean?  An outfit that flatters is an outfit that makes the most of the physical assets you now have, disguises or conceals your perceived figure defects, accentuates an appearance of youthful energy.  For most people that means an outfit that makes you look slimmer. (I have only met one person in my life who said they wanted to look like they had a gigantic rear-end!-and I wonder about that!).  Sometimes it is all about a certain body part, For us 40+, it is usually about thickening of waist, arms, thighs, getting wrinkles, unsightly veins, distortions of bones, whatever.  In any event, like an artist creating a painting, many design principles can perform miracles of concealment, disguise, or accentuation.  Once you understand those principles, it is relatively easy to make corrections that will make you love the results. As I have said before; if you know you look good, you will feel good. If you feel good, you will feel more confident and more in charge of the roles in your lifestyle.

Choosing clothes that flatter your figure when matched with an ever evolving fashion style almost always makes the wearer feel more vibrant, is more active, and is more involved than her counterpart who has given up on themselves.  Often, these are people who had only their youth and the looks and figure they were born with to serve their appearance. For those of us who know better, styling principles are just one more tool to help us age gracefully retaining much of the vim and vigor of our youth.

"Rockmyrole.blogspot.com" will be the forum for providing information on "how to's" for design principles and how to best work them into choosing the most flattering pieces of clothing an outfits for your particular body.  That blog will also do the same for cosmetics, hairstyles, etc. to make the most of the physical attributes.

Happy Styling..........Geneva

Mature Fashion: Update on 21st Century Mod

Hello Stylinistas;

I am thrilled to share with you the anticipated update to one of my fashion stylings from the "Rocking  "21st Century Mod" posting of 10/23/15 on "Rockmyrunwaay.blogspot.com".!

I mentioned I would like to find a high tech parachute material vest as a fresher approach than this vest made of fleece;  as you can see, I did find a jacket that I could remove the sleeves from to make a vest, however, I believe I like it just the way it is.  I also substituted a red purse rather than the original cream.  I think the look is more updated.  Remember, I said I would prefer the quilted top if I could find it for the right price?  What do you think about $10.00 as a deal!!  I am still thinking about removing the sleeves for use in the warmer months.  What do you think?

The above is just one more example why you might want to style your anticipated outfits for a season.  I had a white vest on my shopping list when the time was right for the bargain.  You will likely see this outfit re-invented in my spring stylebook under the "Not So Old Glory", or "Natty Nauticals".  I am working on these collections now.  Have you completed styling for Fall 2015 yet? Or do you just pull from the closet and hope for the best?

(To view stylings from my personal closet, representing my daily roles for the 2015 Fall/Winter season, visit "rockmyrunwaay.blogspot.com)

Happy Styling..............Geneva

Mature Fashion: Make-up,Menopause, and compliments

Hello Stylinistas;

The first day of a good rain!  Hallelujah!!  Even though the rain was really heavy, I didn't even mind all the errands I had to run.  

The first appointment was a dental appointment for my semi-annual cleaning.  My hygenist, a woman of 62 was bemoaning the fact she had trouble with cosmetics because of the hot flashes;  I, of course, asked her how she remedied the situation because her make-up appeared flawless. She provided these helpful hints;  always use a powder base and water proof mascara; she also suggested using dark brown eye-liner rather than black because the smudging appeared more a 'smokey eye' effect and was softer if perspiration smudged her liner.  I thanked her for her tips (fortunately, I never suffered from hot flashes; lucky me from all I hear).

I also want to address the subject of compliments today;  I get my personal styling feedback from only two sources; The first is my mirror.  I look very critically in full length three way mirrors anytime I get dressed.  I believe what I see. Of course, you must be objective.  I read a book a few years ago called "Does this Make Me Look Fat?'  by noted stylist Leah Feldon. The gist of the title was that if you had to ask the question, you already knew the answer; I also believe that you can NEVER rely upon an unbiased answer if you ask the question "how do I look". The following story will illustrate what I mean:

I supervised a young woman who had dressed carefully for an important meeting.  She was nervous, a little insecure, and expressed anxiety about her dress to several persons in a group setting.  She asked me in the group setting what I thought about what she was wearing. Naturally, I told her she looked "fine", everything would be great, just "be herself", and give it her best. I had a friend who overheard the conversation and who was knew my background and interest in "interview costuming".  She also knew me well enough to know that I had been forced into a corner when giving her my "fine" answer. 

The point is, my friend knew I would never tell an anxious person who needed all the confidence she could get anything that could upset her at that time and place.  She could do nothing about it but worry.  That would be cruel and unproductive, at best.  

Over the years I have known many women who remark on compliments from friends or acquaintances, seeking confirmation of their supposed feedback. I have known many who ask for feedback, but are confident in their own style choices and no matter their expression of wanting feedback would NOT take kindly to ANY form of "constructive' criticism.  There are too many variables in compliments from people you know or from those who may not wish to answer negatively. (case in point:  Melanie Griffith in the movie, "Working Girl", when she asked her boss how she looked.  Her new boss told her she "looked great" but she may need to "rethink her jewelry", Melanie was smart enough to immediately begin dressing very differently and used her boss as a reference point for her style of dress. (I'm sure Melanie got lots of compliments on her old style from her girlfriends and the crowd she hung with in her old environment)). 

I addressed this subject today because if you wear a specific style, color, collar, haircut, hair color, etc. and you receive multiple compliments from varied people throughout the day, especially strangers, it would be wise to take note of the style detail(s) and incorporate it into your personal style kit.  You will seldom be wrong.